Ms. Feldhahn writes to women in For Women Only. (Obviously.) It is divided into 9 chapters ranging from how she arrived at this topic, a man's need for respect, his need to provide, sex, and even what men wish you knew about them.
A male friend of mine told me I should read this book and has referenced it on conversations. I figure that if he identifies with it's notions, it's worth checking out. I'll post this for now and add more tomorrow.
She proposes a set of principles that generally apply to men. I wonder how many of you agree with her findings.
Our surface Understanding: What that means in practice:
1. Men Need Respect: Men would rather feel unloved than inadequate and disrespected
2. Men are insecure: Despite their “in control” exterior, men often feel like imposters and are insecure that their inadequacies will be discovered
3. Men are providers: Even if you personally made enough income to support the family’s lifestyle, it would make no difference to the mental burden he feels to provide
4. Men want more sex: Your sexual desire for your husband profoundly affects this sense of well-being and confidence in all areas of life
5. Men are visual: Even happily married men struggle with being pulled toward live and recollected images of other women
6. Men are unromantic clods: Actually, most men enjoy romance (sometimes in different ways) and want to be romantic – but hesitate because they doubt they can succeed
7. Men care about appearance: You don’t need to be a size 3, but your man does need to see you making and effort to take care of yourself – and he will take on significant cost or inconvenience in order to support you
(Page 15)
Do you agree with Ms. Feldhahn?
Do you agree with Ms. Feldhahn?
I would say, "Yes" but those are some intense generalizations. Obviously, it would be to varying degreess from one point to the other. For instance, I don't struggle with #5 but I guarantee you don't want your husband going through the same things I went through not to struggle with #5.
ReplyDeleteI would try to caution trying to build a defense against those things in your husband. For all the things, you might know about your husband, as a woman you have to guard against the temptation to master and control your husband.
very true, joe. thanks for that reminder! it's awesome having male input!
ReplyDelete