Tuesday, November 16, 2010

pride & prejudice

so, i'm feeling convicted about my last post.  i fear that i came across bitter.  and i need to repent of that.  i had the best of intentions and i was simply expressing what i was feeling.  assuredly, i am by no means the wisest person about relationships. 

i was talking with a friend today about God's plan for our lives and how we often don't understand the where's and the why's of our circumstances.  as we talked, i had a revelation.  

have you seen the newest version of "pride & prejudice?"  it's a visually stunning movie and, following the typical jane austen distinctive, wildly romantic.  it's a movie that i can put on the tv and take a nap to; because i can wake up at any point and know exactly what i missed and what happens next.  i guess that means i've seen it quite a few times...

in this fantastic film, the heroine elizabeth bennet, (aka: lizzy), speaks with her father about her relationship with mr. darcy.  (obligatory big ::SIGH:: here...)  women just LOVE that mr. darcy... 

mr. bennet is quite aghast at the idea of his lizzy falling for this seemingly less-than-amiable mr. darcy.  but concedes that if she truly cares for him, he will allow the marriage.  and she in a moment of excitement and elation explains, "...you see, papa, we are so similar..."  and she confesses her true love for dear mr. darcy. 

here's where i'm going with this: my quams about singleness and how we relate to each other are actually quite similar to many other folks in different areas of life. 

for instance, i have several friends that had literally JUST finished opening wedding gifts or receiving congratulations after the ceremony when someone asks, "so when are you having kids?"  there's often a stutter of something like, "um...well, we, um...aren't ready for that yet..." from the newlyweds.  (and you can't get much more "newly" than that!) 

those folks are experiencing what i wrote about in the previous post.  the world has an idea of how things should go.  and sometimes people don't know how to react to those that don't seem to track with the archetypal life.  and what if a couple is trying to get pregnant but cannot?  it can be very painful.

the same thing goes for people like my friends, the Dunbars, who are missionaries to Bogota, Columbia.  it's hard for people to understand leaving their comfortable, descent paying jobs in The States to live in a dangerous part of the world. 

or folks like my grandparents, who at age 40 and with 4 daughters, sold their dairy farm so that my grandpa could go to Bible school and then on to seminary. 

it looks weird the world...even to those who love and know us best.

like i mentioned before, God works creatively in each of our lives.  it's often hard to explain why we make certain decisions or where we are in life.  sometimes it's by our choice...and sometimes it's not.  but the bottom line is:

we are really quite similar. 

and if we could offer a little more sensitivity to each other and a lot more license to God to do what He will in our lives, i believe we could eliminate some pain or frustration inflicted upon each other.