we love you. we're just not IN love with you.

okay, so maybe it isn't those exact words.  but that's the general idea when you're turned down for a job.  when the dreadful email shows up in your inbox, you read the same sentiment of rejection: "thank you for expressing interest.  and while you have many valuable qualities, we have decided to move forward with other candidates."

i know i'm not the only person who's experienced this.  it's really tough out there!

you put your time, money and emotions into finding the right job...or even ANY job these days.  when you find one that responds positively to your resume and application, it gets exciting.  your level of hope rises.  you start imagining your self in that position.  it may mean a new city, new place to live or a chance to pay some things off.

when you read those words, (or even hear them if the employer is old school), you may feel like you've been dumped.  as if the employer is saying, "you're a great person.  and i've enjoyed our time together.  but it's just not going to work out.  i'm really sorry.  but i'm sure you'll find someone else that is better suited for you."

it's brutal out there.  if you have a job, be thankful.  you see, someone else will always be willing to take your job if you don't want it.  make sure you work hard to keep it.

but if you don't want to stay there, it will take an enormous amount of resolve to survive the job hunt.  God is fully aware of what you need.  it's incredible that He is so familiar with us.  but that doesn't change the disappointment you can expect at least a few times before He presents the right job.

dealing with the rejection is pretty hard.  i myself am bruised and recovering from two big disappointments.  therefore, i know that the healing is slow.  but i'm certain it comes eventually.

dear friends, now is not the time to doubt our Creator and His faithfulness.  (i have to remind myself of this all day, every day.)  it's the confidence in our Savior that keeps me going.  my circumstances have not changed.  in fact, they seem worse.  but, somewhere, DEEP down inside, the Holy Spirits still urges me to persevere.

so, persevere with me.  we will someday overcome all and our occupations will not matter.  whether we can pay our bills will not matter.  whether or not we marry and have children will not matter.  and we'll be face-to-face with the only One that matters.  someday, dear friends, someday.

Proverbs 13:12

hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but desire fulfilled is a tree of life.
proverbs 13:12

i love this verse.  i know the book of proverbs is known for its quips of wisdom.  line after line, it plainly states truth about the human nature and admonishes real fulfillment. 

it calls out the dangers of a naive/foolish heart while also pointing out the source of real joy.  when discouraged, this book offers peace.  when joyful, it reminds one why they have joy.  it's powerful in its bits of poetic verse.

over and over again, it references the danger of deep sadness (i call this depression) and the tole it takes.  (prov 15:13, 14:13)  i love this because of its honesty.  "Hope deferred makes the heart sick..." (prov 13:12a)

but then offers, "but desire fulfilled is a tree of life."  (prov 13:12b)  This portion reminds me of psalm 37:3-6:

trust in the Lord and do good;
dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.
delight yourself in the Lord
and He will give you the desires of your heart.
commit your way to the Lord,
trust also in Him, and He will do it.
He will bring forth your righteousness as the light
and your judgment as the noonday.

i've had hope deferred for lengthy periods of time.  it is heartbreaking and it felt like i had a broken spirit (prov 15:13).  and often times, as the time drags on, i loose sight of what i really desire.  was i thankful for what God had supplied for me?  definitely.  but was i joyful and excited about life?  no.  sometimes i was merely in survival mode; just pushing through each day. 

and then God surprises me with a gift.  something i hadn't considered or it never occurred to me to request of Him.   that is the "tree of life" in verse 12.  like the spring each year, life begins to bloom! 

the word "hope" is mentioned in my NAS bible 146 times.  in the NT, it is a hope based on Christ.  that if we have hope in anything, its surely Him. 

as a follower of Christ, i never lost hope in the salvation of Christ or that someday i'd be with God in heaven.  that foundation is not shaken.  but somehow, it's so easy to be convinced that God doesn't love us a much as other people or that we don't deserve good things.  but He promised His love for us while we remain on earth. 

the Lord your God is in your midst,
a victorious warrior.
He will exult over you with joy,
He will be quite in His love,
He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.
(zeph 3:17)

so, how then can anyone think they are exempt from His tremendous love?  

when life is taxing, dark and depressing for lengthy periods of time, we can lose the hope for a fulfilling future.  sometimes this is a physiological issue.  and sometimes its the result of a painful time in person's life.  either way, i know it's temporary. 

...His favor is for a lifetime.
weeping may last for the night,
but a shout of joy comes in the morning.
(psalm 30:5)

for any of you that a hurting, may i remind you that it's temporary?  hope that is deferred will return when God presents to you your own tree of life.  we must keep encouraging each other.